Role Models of America : January 2009

Proverbs 31 Lesson 11 Student Handout

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 11 Student

Proverbs 31

²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom;

_______________________________ to one’s words. ____________________ ____________________________________the subject at hand before using words. ___________________________ in touchy situations to bring tension down.

Better to ___________________________, than to _______________________!

Psalms 52:2

The tongue ____________________________________; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.

She sees before she speaks. A wise woman looks at 10 areas before speaking.

1. ___________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________________

7. ____________________________________________________________

8. ____________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________

Why work on being filled with kindness from God’s Spirit?

Women who operate in kindness _______________________________.

Kind words are wise and _____________________________________.

Simple acts of kindness can ___________________________________.

Kindness brings _________________________ who obtain at her hand.

She uses a _________________________________________.

She _____________________________________________________.

She finds a _______________________________ instead of negativity.

She ________________________________ as to not wound the hearer.

She _____________________________________________________.

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 11

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 11

Proverbs 31

²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom;

Women are great communicators and have a natural verbose ability. A woman can talk for hours and chatter about light subjects and entertain all that hear her if she is an outgoing woman. If she is more on the quiet deep side, when she opens up to speak - what she says usually has some depth to it. And if she is a born leader, her words carry weight and she can direct the steps of others with her words. It is commonly known that little girls gather a varied vocabulary quicker than little boys.

For a woman to open her mouth with wisdom – it means she has spent time gathering information. She has studied the subject she is going to talk about. Her opinions are carefully guarded and she does not share them readily with others. One who is quick to answer in a conversation can often be found to have not had all the facts.

Wisdom brings caution to one’s words. Wisdom unfolds a depth in understanding the subject at hand before using words. Wisdom also will cause a woman to carefully use tact in touchy situations to bring tension down.

Proverbs 15:33

The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honor is humility.

Becoming aware that God hears all conversations, and is close at hand to every word we speak, will make a woman watch what she says. And at all times if she will set a guard at her mouth and trust God to help her to speak or not to speak – she will walk in wisdom. Fearing the Lord, or in other words, respecting God with the knowledge that He knows all and we are but humans, gives us the barriers that we need before speaking.

It is important to remember that God is hearing our words. And if we need to speak strong words – it is far better to speak them to God alone than to our fellow man. For God keeps all conversations private and confidential between you both. And He will give you wisdom to speak to others, when you have settled enough to see His wisdom to follow.

All woman can be too free with our words, based on our emotions, circumstances, pressures of life and hurts. But speaking freely under the influence of emotions never leads to wisdom. And many a regret is held by a woman who spoke too quickly, only to have life suddenly change and then her words are swords in the hands of others and bring harm. Or in some cases her very words can be used against her.

Remember the little statement made of a nursery rhyme? “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. This simply is not true. Words do hurt and linger for years in the minds and hearts of hurt people.

Better to say little and pray a lot, than to pray little and say a lot!

Psalms 52:2

The tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.

Sometimes speaking rashly comes from insecurity. Or one is trying to overcome a low self esteem and self worth by building up self by big words. . Bragging and boasting may boost her for the moment, but later comes the inner shame that causes one’s esteem to go even lower. Lying lips destroy trust.

At all times if she will set a guard at her mouth and trust God to help her to speak or not to speak – she will walk in wisdom.

She sees before she speaks. A wise woman looks at 10 areas before speaking.

1. facial expressions

2. voice inflections

3. body language

4. the subject matter

5. age

6. gender

7. level of relationship between the listener and herself

8. timing

9. other listening ears

10. her level of expertise or knowledge about the subject

Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become, in the hands of one who knows how to combine them! Nathaniel Hawthorne

Proverbs 31 26 goes on to say “………and in her tongue is the law of kindness”

Kindness in a woman is of more value than her outward looks. It brings a softening, a gentleness, softness, a calmness to her whole countenance. When a woman’s words are kind, she is sweeter, more pleasant to be with, her entire communication and conversation is effective. She can win more with kindness than she can with a strong will. We are taught all through scripture what happens when kindness is involved in situations. It’s a fruit of the Spirit and to be cultivated by all believers.

II Corinthians 6:6 By pureness, by knowledge, by long suffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned.

No Act of Kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. Aesop

Why work on being filled with kindness from God’s Spirit?

Women who operate in kindness gain a good reputation.

Kind words are wise and offer grace to the hearer.

Simple acts of kindness can calm and still emotional storms.

Kindness brings healing to all who obtain at her hand.

And how is the law of kindness on her tongue?

She uses a gentle tone of voice.

She encourages others with her words.

She finds a positive word to say instead of negativity.

She chooses her words carefully as to not wound the hearer.

She compliments while correcting tenderly.

Certainly a higher level for every woman to reach for - don’t you agree?

Kind words may be short... but their echoes are endless. Mother Theresa

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 10 Student Handout

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 10 Student

Proverbs 31:25

__________________________are her clothing; and she shall rejoice

_________________________________________________.

Two important subjects define her personality from within.

1. _________________________________

__________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

The _________________ of the woman in the home is enormous and __________________________________ as she helps to __________________________________________ of her family.

And without being curbed, ________________ turn into __________ and negative actions turn into _______________. And bad decisions are _______________________________ later on in life.

2._________________________________________________________

What can keep us from honor?

· ______________________

Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people.

· Welsh Proverb

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 10

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 10

Proverbs 31:25

Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

Two important subjects define her personality from within.

1. She is strong

The Proverbs 31 woman has developed an internal potency, a invisible powerful steady heart that has grown through the storms of life. This lady has exercised her personal fortitude and established her own identity, so that she is secure and confident in her life. Strength is not a talent one possesses, it is the gathered force of mental and emotional stamina that has been created thru the hardships of life and has crystallized into strength. A woman who has endured many circumstances has become strong as a result of all of life’s difficult moments.

All women go through difficult times, when people fail, and life disappoints, and circumstances put her in impossible positions. Some women choose to bury their heads in denial and blame others for their mountains. This often ends with addictive behaviors and causes yet more and more grief in her life, as she tries to cope with the pain and fear. Sadly loss always follows this behavior pattern.

But some women choose to face their giants, hold on to God’s hand and fight bravely. These always end in with the victory. God turns the battle against them, into a crusade against Himself for these have turned to Him in their hour of need. And no one can possibly win against God. These women win their struggles and end up stronger and resilient in life.

It’s not when life is rosy that you know a woman’s character, it’s when the hordes of hell are raging at her that you see who she really is. Gayla Holley

Why is it so important that she develop her inner strength? Why not just go along with the flow of life and let it happen. Because the inner fortitude and strength of a woman, will affect her family and friends. The influence of the woman in the home is enormous and very persuasive as she helps to shape the emotional wellbeing of her family.

You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.

James A. Froude
English historian (1818 - 1894)

When she is self contained and positive, her assurance imprints every family member. When she is doubtful and has emotional upheavals it also leaves a mark on them. Angry outbursts from mom will be remembered long after she is over being upset. A woman who uses her emotions to control her family is manipulative and in the long run does damage on the hearts of husbands and children. All negative energy stems from a lack of spiritual development from within. And without being curbed, negative remarks turn into negative actions and negative actions turn into bad decisions. And bad decisions are ALWAYS REGRETED later on in life.

Every woman has the opportunity to develop herself from within. How? The mental and emotional health of a woman needs the teaching of wisdom found through the Word of God in the Bible. The woman who has found the secret place of the Most High will abide. She will stand, or in other words she will not crumble or fall apart when rough times comes.

She will be like a tree standing by the rivers of water, she will not be moved.

Or as Jesus said in one of the powerful parables in scripture. When the rains and floods come, if she has built her life upon the Rock (Christ Jesus) her life will stand firm.

Matthew 7:24-27 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

25And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

26And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

27And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.

People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962), My Day

A woman who chooses to develop herself from within will also find that she has obtained this next blessing in life.

2. She has honor that becomes an outward admiration from others in her life. And this strength and respect is so strong, she has a reputation or it has become her signature among others. This woman has nobility and her words carry weight with others. She is as a tree that others find shade beneath. Her boughs spread out and provide shade for those under her shadow. She becomes a gift from God, and her life is an influential blessing to all around her.

Honor is respect from others around her. To be held in high regard from peers or those of whom come in contact with her either in business or personal duties. Every woman wants to be respected and can be if she aligns herself with God’s wisdom and applies herself to personal growth. What can keep us from honor?

· Habits

· Lack of integrity

· Immorality

Habits are those small entanglements that attach themselves to us and bring us down time and again through their usage. A habit of being irritated when life does not go her way will cause others to avoid her. A habit of personal procrastination causes others to not trust her with needed completed jobs. She will be passed over every time. A habit of passing personal confidences shared with her will keep others wary and unable to connect personally with her. Honor does not come without a strong commitment to integrity and self discipline. An older woman has found it’s far better to keep a confidence than to pass it on. This brings her honor from others.

Be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people.

Welsh Proverb

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 9 Student Handout

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 9 Student

Proverbs 31:24

She ________________ fine linen, and ________________ it; and delivereth girdles unto the ______________________________.

· Young women in their 20’s often

__________________________________.

· Women in their 30’s are more ____________________________

__________________________________________________.

· Women in their 40’s are ________________________________

__________________________________________________.

· Women in their 50’s are ________________________________

__________________________________________________.

· Women in their 60’s are ________________________________

________________________________________ ________.

· Healthy women in their 70, they have the ______________ about in their lives and ___________________________________for their lifelong works.

This woman has _______________ to supply financial aid to her family, while she stays at home.

In today’s world we could call this _______________________.

The Proverbs woman found a way to _______________, ____________________________, _________________________ to help create income for her family.

What secret talent do you possess that you could be using to benefit your family and yourself?

Finding ____________________________________________________in our daily routines is the greatest joy a finite life can have. And a wise woman turns them into _____________________________________.

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 9

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 9

Proverbs 31:24

She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

There are real secrets hidden in the verses of this passage that can prove to solve problems for women in their self discovery at every age. Every woman in the different seasons of her life, has to make hard choices about what and who she is in life. And every time period of life has it’s own financial issues to be grappled with.

Many women in this modern world must help to provide the income of the home, as the economics of the age often demands two paychecks to make ends meet. And furthermore all single moms can relate to this as they are numerous times - the sole breadwinner in their house. So no matter the age bracket a woman lives within, the income needs of the family often requires her to work a full time job.

· Young women in their 20’s are often searching their way along in pregnancy, motherhood and having a career too. It is a tough heart tugging experience to leave little ones and go off to work even when you enjoy the work you do. Yet her little one has needs that must be met both physically and financially, requiring her to work.

· Women in their 30’s have become experienced with the juggling act of work and homelife, and they focus on what is important and what is not in their daily workload. Their lifestyle is often very hectic with school age children, and their home work from school, her husband’s needs and the care needed in the house, not to mention the job she works and all that it entails within itself.

· Women in their 40’s are entering the mid-life cycles personally and are learning to adjust to their children’s different stages of life and their changing needs. As well as beginning to think of their own goals left behind in the past when motherhood came into being. Buried talents and forgotten dreams reappear as time passes and they face middle age.

· Women in their 50’s are completing their daily parenting responsibilities and learning to turn their eyes upon other goals as the ‘empty nest’ begins to happen. And often the reality of years spent on someone else’s dream makes her desire to find her own dream. She may go back to school, or change to a different job source completely.

· Women in their 60’s are seasoned, more comfortable with themselves and able to give more of their time and talents to other functions and people. She plans to retire and spend more time with valued relationships.

· Healthy women in their 70’s and above, have the pure joy of going and coming in their families and friends lives and find that others honor them for their lifelong works.

Yet in each life and stage, there can be huge challenges for a woman to provide from her own talents a sustainable income. How can she take care of her family and yet be there physically for them. It is a rare blessing when a mother can work a full time job, and have her children close by.

Women of all ages working outside the home, feel as if they have 2 jobs. One for their daytime hours called ‘Work’ and the other is their night time job called ‘Home’. They work all day at a public job, and then upon arrival at home begin their second job of taking care of family, house, food, cleaning, clothing etc. This is overwhelming and a heavy load to bear on the shoulders of women. At times it feels too much to bear, as the weight of most homes falls upon the woman to care, clean, upkeep, refill, cook, and often repair the home. Women of all ages who work outside the home can relate to this lesson.

But this verse tells us that this woman had found a solution to supply financial aid to her family, while she stays at home. She makes fabric. We have already studied in an earlier lesson, her ability to use the plant called flax and create material from it. She is innovative and industrious, using natural plants to create income from them. And having made the fabric, she has designed garments – beautiful girdles, which is another name for a long winding fabric belt around the waist. Which was a common garment to wear in those days. And having made them, she sold them to merchants.

How brilliant! She made something out of nothing, then created a accessory that all people of that time period would need, then sold them in the retail markets. All the while keeping her children close to her, and her life firmly within her own control.

In today’s world we could call this ‘working from home’. There are plenty of home based businesses that focus on a flexible work schedule that fits well with young children and mothers. The Proverbs woman found a way to stay at home, raise her children, use what she has to help create income for her family.

She trained herself in 3 abilities.

1. Found something to make out of a plant that cost her nothing but air and sunshine and water to grow it. A raw natural product.

2. Created a belt – made something useful that would be in public demand

3. Found a way to market her creation

What secret talent do you possess that you could be using to benefit your family and yourself?

The age of a woman and the stage of life she is at, can help her create solutions not only for herself and the needs of her family, but also for the needs of others. Her experiences in life can bring benefit to many others, by her talents and the application of them.

Older women know the battlefields of the younger women, and their expertise could be invaluable in wisdom and the supportive usage of her talents.

Younger women have the strength and curiosity to try new ways to fix old issues. Again their expertise could be invaluable in wisdom and the supportive usage of her talents for other women.

Finding value and significance in our daily routines is the greatest joy a finite life can have. And a wise woman turns them into financial gain.

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 8 Student Handout

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 8 Student

Proverbs 31:23

²³Her __________________________ is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

The Proverbs 31 woman has a image in her mind of her husband. And she sees him _____________________________________.

· ______________________________________________________

………’when he sitteth _____________________________ of the land’.

1. _______________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________

3. _______________________________________________

4. _______________________________________________

Have a heart that never __________, a temper that never _________, a touch that never __________. ~Charles Dickens

Remember the day when he finally sets in the gates …… you will be the woman beside him. Being a Proverbs 31 woman ensures this promise.

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 8

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 8

Proverbs 31:23

²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

The Proverbs 31 woman has a image in her mind of her husband. And she sees him as a leader. He is the man in charge and she expects him to lead ahead in the family. Both spiritually and naturally the godly wife desires her husband to be in charge, and not only in charge at home. She has learned that to help her husband be all he can be, she must be an encouragement to him.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. - John Quincy Adams

She is a wise woman if she can learn to promote her husband. Helping him to dream more, requires that she is a positive instead of a negative to him. Her words can build up and help to enthuse his faith and belief that he can attain new heights in life. She can speak blessing into him and remove the harmful words of others by her powerful interception of his belief systems.

Proverbs describes a leader as the man who is known in the gates. What would the gates signify? Now the gates of a city were very important as it determined who could come inside the city and who would be kept outside the city. The gates were protective and discriminating in removing criminals, or watching to see who was coming in as in spies from other territories. The gates could be shut to protect the citizens of those within. To be known in the gates would be a prized place of power for they had the control of what and who was coming and going. To be known would be to be in charge. In other words her husband was in charge as a leader over the lives of others.

This in today’s world would definitely mean that he was a leader, a man over men. His responsibilities includes the lives of many others beside his own wife and family. His abilities had brought him into positions of authority and she respects this.

· She understands. Respects his long hours, and skilled labor in protecting, building, restoring and enhancing the gates of leadership.

· Publicly – she tells others of his gifting, and influences them to pay attention and to honor his skills.

· Privately- she praises him when alone with him and encourages him with her positive words of wisdom.

· She celebrates him internally in the fact of she knows she is married to someone of great value in the lives of many people.

· She accepts his position of worth with others and does not resent his sacrifices of time with her.

· She carried herself with wisdom because of his position. She does not allow herself or her children to draw attention in ways that would compromise his standing in the community.

· She promotes his cause as her own. She has accepted his calling in life as her own and has cast her strength in with him to help carry the responsibilities of leadership.

………’when he sitteth among the elders of the land’.

She knows he will sit with the great people of the nation. She knows he will be important and his skills will be noticed and needed. So she has prepared herself and looked ahead to see …..

· WHEN he arrives at his full potential as a man.

· WHEN he is fully experienced and skilled.

· WHEN he gets to the fullness of life in mental maturity.

· WHEN he is accepted and one of the wise leaders – he will sit with the elders of the land.

She knows what is coming toward him and readies herself to be at his side when his ‘ship comes in’.

It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed. - Napoleon Hill

This requires much sacrifice on her part.

1. To be willing to give up hours of his attention, and his personal energy.

2. To know that she is not the sole person in his life, but she has recognizes and prizes the fact that he will be important and she will be standing beside him when he sits among the elders in the land.

3. Her foresight allows her to ignore the present and look to the future. It requires her many times to forget the lost details and see the big entire picture.

4. The Proverbs woman is key to his arrival and his received potentials assisted by her words of wisdom.

A wise woman builds up her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her words.

She knows that for him to succeed, she must help. She can’t go with him every hour, because of her own works at hand, but she can pray daily for him. So her prayers are full of petitions for his needs and her eyes are fixed on God’s help for her husband.

The wise woman that has this settled in her mind, will remind her children when he has to miss an event. Will remind the family when they complain about his lack of time for them. She will go to great lengths to support him and his vision – thus being the Proverbs wife will help others to understand his passion and become supportive also.

But if she chooses to take a negative stand about her husband and her focus is upon his faults, he will not be able to lead freely not will she enjoy the fruits of a successful fulfilled man. She can easily see his faults, which man does not have them? Or in truth which woman does not have them as well?

Negative thoughts breed doubt. And doubt removes faith. And without faith no mountain will ever be scaled, nor lofty height ever attained. So the Proverbs woman has determined to set her mind on that which is of faith in her belief and support of his strengths and not his weaknesses. This direct decision to look to the higher not only will affect her, but also the lives of her children. Helping children to see the big picture enlarges them in their own minds for their own futures as well.

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. ~Charles Dickens

Learning to trust God’s plans for you through the works and destiny of your husband will bring fulfillment in the daily duties of the supportive work of a wife.

Remember the day when he finally sets in the gates …… you will be the woman beside him. Being a Proverbs 31 woman ensures this promise.

Written by Gayla Holley

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Proverbs 31 Lesson 7 Student Handout

Role Models of America

The Pro31 Woman

Lesson 7 Student

Proverbs 31:22

She maketh ________________ coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

Many women put themselves last on the list of care, but a woman's appearance can affect her relationships.

In what way are your clothing speaking about you?

1. ________________________________.

2. ________________________________.

3. ________________________________.

4. ________________________________.

5. ________________________________.

And how do we apply this verse to our present world?

· _______________________________________.

How well are you in tune with yourself? Dressing oneself in pretty clothing will affect the mood and confidence of every woman.

1._______________________________________________.

2._______________________________________________.

Dress yourself with careful respect as a Proverbs 31 woman, and others will notice and also give you honor. What you wear does say who you are!

Written by Gayla Holley

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