By: Walterene Jones
Many have spoken the quote over and over to me “Time Heals All Wounds” in the past 5-1/2 months since my husband passed away. While the emotional meltdowns are fewer in number, still the empty hole in my heart remains. The feelings of loneliness and missing him so much I don’t know what to do with myself at times is still very real. The pain rears it ugly head each time I come across our Wedding picture or something that brings back one of the wonderful memories of our lives together and I know it will never happen again because he has gone to be with the Lord. The tears still flow but I realize now that I’m not crying for him, he is whole, healthy, happy and dancing around heaven, but they are tears for myself. The tears I shed are because I miss him, I miss the times we spent together, I miss having him to share my heart with, to give me answers to life when I don’t know what to do, someone just to sit next to and hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be ok.
I find myself shedding less tears, but having to fix my gaze more on Jesus and fill my world with His Word and Music of Praise. With each new day, I’ve also finally realized in my mind and heart is a new day God has given me to grow, learn and personally experience my Abba Father. So just as a baby learning to walk, I must learn to take one step at a time. To try to step out of my routine box and experience God’s greatness to the fullest. Each day is my very own New Dawn of Opportunity God is giving to me to embrace and experience.
God has shown himself Faithful over and over day by day to me, just like he promised. He has provided in every way for me and surrounded me with a Godly network of Church Family that is there to go each step of the way with me. I don’t understand why God chose to take my husband home at this time in my life, but I’m learning that my life is not over, a new one is just beginning and that he has a perfect plan for my life already prepared for me. I do have a hope, and that hope is in Jesus Christ.
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