Confession

Holy One,

I’m trying to sort through MY RESPONSIBILITIES.

Holy One, I’m trying to understand MY MISTAKES.

Holy One, I’m trying to figure out how to confess MY SINS to you.

I want my life back.

Let me tell you: when I was little, I was molested.

I didn’t know that wasn’t my responsibility.  That wasn’t my mistake.  That wasn’t my sin.

And then things got confused.  I couldn’t remember how to love.

I made bad choices.  I ran from you, from myself, from the pain.

I hurt people.  I lashed out, or I simply held back.  I got so mixed up, and I couldn’t find my way home.

I took no responsibility.  I acknowledged no mistakes.  I confessed no sin.

Now Holy One, I want MY LIFE back.

Protect me from my tendency to claim the guilt which is not mine, and save me from my eagerness to deny the guilt which is my own.

Holy One, hear my confession.

Amen

Catherine J. Foote, Survivor Prayers – Talking with God about Childhood Sexual Abuse (Louisville, Kentucky: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1994), 57.