Role Models of America

Who says Cancer is too big for God?

Incurable Hodgkins Disease

You have got to read this!  Meet Dorothy Kaufman - one of the hero's of faith in Bethel Bible Church.  Pastor Jack and Lynn Greenwood are her pastors. No one will ever be able to tell her that God does not heal.  She took time to tell me her story after church.  She is now 82 years old (her birthday was March 3rd)  She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (Hodgkin's) by Mayo Clinic.  She was told that she was incurable and that no treatment would do her any good - so they gave her nothing.  No chemotherapy, no radiation, nothing.  She went home, and begin to pray about this impossible mountain. She was encouraged to eat only raw fruits and vegetables, and ended up taking 85 different vitamins and minerals daily. She told me that God touched her, healing her completely!  This was 20 YEARS AGO NOW!!!!

Mayo Clinic had told her there were no survivors of this type of condition anywhere on record. So she took things into her own hands and trusted God to lead her. When she returned to Mayo Clinic to be checked out - they were amazed and PUT HER IN THEIR MEDICAL RECORDS. She gives God all the credit for leading her and healing her. Did you read the part that said - this happened 20 years ago?! She now spends her days praying for people that are sick.  And God has used her to bring healing into many lives.   

Meet Kim (sorry I forgot to ask her if I could post her last name) She is also another miracle in Bethel Bible Church.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been healed from it! 

These are only two of the the healing miracles that have occurred at this church. I am honored to meet these hero's of faith.

Do you realize that God is still healing people?  Look in the Bible, under the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and you will see how Jesus healed all sorts of diseases.  If you are sick - God can heal you.  Why don't you ask Him to?  Be sure to give Him all the credit when He does it!!

You have got to read this!  Meet Dorothy Kaufman - one of the hero's of faith in Bethel Bible Church.  Pastor Jack and Lynn Greenwood are her pastors. No one will ever be able to tell her that God does not heal.  She took time to tell me her story after church.  She is now 82 years old (her birthday was March 3rd)  She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (Hodgkin's) by Mayo Clinic.  She was told that she was incurable and that no treatment would do her any good - so they gave her nothing.  No chemotherapy, no radiation, nothing.  She went home, and begin to pray about this impossible mountain. She was encouraged to eat only raw fruits and vegetables, and ended up taking 85 different vitamins and minerals daily. She told me that God touched her, healing her completely!  This was 20 YEARS AGO NOW!!!!

Mayo Clinic had told her there were no survivors of this type of condition anywhere on record. So she took things into her own hands and trusted God to lead her. When she returned to Mayo Clinic to be checked out - they were amazed and PUT HER IN THEIR MEDICAL RECORDS. She gives God all the credit for leading her and healing her. Did you read the part that said - this happened 20 years ago?! She now spends her days praying for people that are sick.  And God has used her to bring healing into many lives.   

Meet Kim (sorry I forgot to ask her if I could post her last name) She is also another miracle in Bethel Bible Church.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been healed from it! 

These are only two of the the healing miracles that have occurred at this church. I am honored to meet these hero's of faith.

Do you realize that God is still healing people?  Look in the Bible, under the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and you will see how Jesus healed all sorts of diseases.  If you are sick - God can heal you.  Why don't you ask Him to?  Be sure to give Him all the credit when He does it!!

You have got to read this!  Meet Dorothy Kaufman - one of the hero's of faith in Bethel Bible Church.  Pastor Jack and Lynn Greenwood are her pastors. No one will ever be able to tell her that God does not heal.  She took time to tell me her story after church.  She is now 82 years old (her birthday was March 3rd)  She was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (Hodgkin's) by Mayo Clinic.  She was told that she was incurable and that no treatment would do her any good - so they gave her nothing.  No chemotherapy, no radiation, nothing.  She went home, and begin to pray about this impossible mountain. She was encouraged to eat only raw fruits and vegetables, and ended up taking 85 different vitamins and minerals daily. She told me that God touched her, healing her completely!  This was 20 YEARS AGO NOW!!!!

Mayo Clinic had told her there were no survivors of this type of condition anywhere on record. So she took things into her own hands and trusted God to lead her. When she returned to Mayo Clinic to be checked out - they were amazed and PUT HER IN THEIR MEDICAL RECORDS. She gives God all the credit for leading her and healing her. Did you read the part that said - this happened 20 years ago?! She now spends her days praying for people that are sick.  And God has used her to bring healing into many lives.   

Meet Kim (sorry I forgot to ask her if I could post her last name) She is also another miracle in Bethel Bible Church.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer and has been healed from it! 

These are only two of the the healing miracles that have occurred at this church. I am honored to meet these hero's of faith.

Do you realize that God is still healing people?  Look in the Bible, under the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and you will see how Jesus healed all sorts of diseases.  If you are sick - God can heal you.  Why don't you ask Him to?  Be sure to give Him all the credit when He does it!!

Breast Cancer #1

Breast Cancer - Part One

It's time to start telling an amazing miracle story.  Now what I am about to tell you will be told in several posts, as it's different chapters of my life. I am so thankful for each one of these chapters in my life - they are part of my spiritual foundation.

When I was 23 years old, our baby girl Angela was one.  We were about to leave Zimbabwe after spending 2 years there as missionaries. I discovered a lump in my breast and knew something was wrong.  So we went to the Doctor there in Harare Zimbabwe, it was about 1 month before we were returning home.  He examined me and told me very disturbing news.  "There is not enough time to take care of your health before you leave.  So when you get back home, go see a Doctor and get this looked at.  And I must tell you that by the time you are 40 years old you will need to have both breasts removed to preserve your life."

I was shocked and suddenly struck with serious thoughts that I had not had before.  Now I was living a great life, enjoying being a mommy and a wife and loving my African life. We had so many friends there that were all our age and we all were having children together.  We were a whole church full of young marrieds that all loved each other.  But our families were urging us to return, and so reluctantly we had many goodbye parties and with promises to see everyone again we left, not knowing what the next chapter of life would bring to us. 

I won't bore you with lots of details, but in a short time upon returning home, we had been ask to pastor a church in East Texas.  Kirbyville to be exact.  So we moved there and began to make relationships and win people to the Lord.  Every now and then I would feel the lump and know that I would have to go see a Doctor soon.  So it was like a dark cloud always hanging over my head. 

When life calmed down, we did find a doctor - who ran tests and basically gave me my options.  Surgery right away. That's what my option was. Now I have to be a big girl and get ready for this.  I was a young pastor's wife who, by watching others thought that pastor's wives did not have problems, and we had to be strong for the women in our churches. Thank God I no longer have to play that sad game!

But at the time, I did.  So putting on a plastic smile and faking it like it did not bother me,  but it did.  And there were no friends around me who had been through this, so no one could really relate. So no one said anything to me and the subject was basically ignored.  My mother made arrangement to fly back to the States to be with me. Fear was my constant companion.  The doctors words would ring in my head.  We are not sure what we will find, you need to make a decision about having a mastectomy.  I hugged my baby and was terrified that I would not be around to see her grow up.  My family talked in hushed tones about cancer.  Hoping not to add to my fears, but my fears were full grown, and their looks only made me feel more alone. 

Crying at night into my pillow I faced the fact of my mortality.  One side of me said, you need to get it together you can't be afraid to die.  You are the pastor's wife - and can't admit THIS to anyone!  The other side said, I am soooo afraid and scared to die.  What if I am not saved.  What if I don't measure up?  What's death feel like?  I don't want to die young.  I want to be a Mom! Then the guilt - you are a believer what's wrong with you. Questions rolled over and over in my heart creating such anxiety and panic in my mind. 

Mom arrived and refused to let me lift anything thinking that it might help not spread 'anything' in my body.  Ha!  We all were dealing with our fears in different ways.  My husband put on a brave face and took me to all appointments and consultations, showing his support.  But what was there to say.  We just had to face this turn of events and go through it.  He prayed for my healing and had many others do so as well. 

The day of surgery arrived and I remember the doctor's words to me.  We will need to make some markings on  your body for the mastectomy.  And out came the black markers and the lines were drawn, while I am trying to stay calm inside.  I have to admit to you, my faith was zilch during this experience.  I dreaded this day.

Surgery happened.

Upon awaking in the recovery room, I tried to move my hands to feel around and there was a large lady nurse in white standing right next to me watching me.  Strangely she had a little white sign in her hands, and when she saw me stirring she pressed my hands back down and held up this sign.   It said,  'there was no cancer..... Thank God!'  I closed my eyes and went right back to sleep. 

And when I woke up the second time, a different nurse was there and she started talking to me, telling me the details.  I looked for the other nurse but never saw her again.  I started to feel relieved as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of me!  They had removed the lump and tested it again to find out that it was not cancerous.  I was incredulous about what suddenly had turned around and been reversed so quickly.   

As soon as I recovered we went home ever so grateful to God for my health. I was humbled and ashamed that I had not trusted God more.  And in His kindness He patiently heard all my cries and the many lies that had smashed into my heart, wrecking my peace.  He knew His plans for me so He was not worried.  And in His grace Jesus had healed me in the hour of my need. 

I wasted so much time in personal agony for naught! I promised myself not to self abuse ever again like that.  I felt so ashamed later privately washing those black marks off! And I heard this statement spoken quietly in my heart, 'the facts are not necessarily the truth'.   

What lesson did I learn in this chapter of life?  That my life is really not in my hands  that God is so much bigger than I - and He calmly takes care of my life safely in spite of my inner turmoil.  That my fears are just that, fantasies that are not reality.  That I needed to seriously devote myself to Him, to remove my mortality concerns about dying.  And most of all......... what I am so sure is the truth, can be changed instantly by God.  That breast cancer is not the boss -God is.   

And as the song says......... Oh for grace to trust Him more

It's time to start telling an amazing miracle story.  Now what I am about to tell you will be told in several posts, as it's different chapters of my life. I am so thankful for each one of these chapters in my life - they are part of my spiritual foundation.

When I was 23 years old, our baby girl Angela was one.  We were about to leave Zimbabwe after spending 2 years there as missionaries. I discovered a lump in my breast and knew something was wrong.  So we went to the Doctor there in Harare Zimbabwe, it was about 1 month before we were returning home.  He examined me and told me very disturbing news.  "There is not enough time to take care of your health before you leave.  So when you get back home, go see a Doctor and get this looked at.  And I must tell you that by the time you are 40 years old you will need to have both breasts removed to preserve your life."

I was shocked and suddenly struck with serious thoughts that I had not had before.  Now I was living a great life, enjoying being a mommy and a wife and loving my African life. We had so many friends there that were all our age and we all were having children together.  We were a whole church full of young marrieds that all loved each other.  But our families were urging us to return, and so reluctantly we had many goodbye parties and with promises to see everyone again we left, not knowing what the next chapter of life would bring to us. 

I won't bore you with lots of details, but in a short time upon returning home, we had been ask to pastor a church in East Texas.  Kirbyville to be exact.  So we moved there and began to make relationships and win people to the Lord.  Every now and then I would feel the lump and know that I would have to go see a Doctor soon.  So it was like a dark cloud always hanging over my head. 

When life calmed down, we did find a doctor - who ran tests and basically gave me my options.  Surgery right away. That's what my option was. Now I have to be a big girl and get ready for this.  I was a young pastor's wife who, by watching others thought that pastor's wives did not have problems, and we had to be strong for the women in our churches. Thank God I no longer have to play that sad game!

But at the time, I did.  So putting on a plastic smile and faking it like it did not bother me,  but it did.  And there were no friends around me who had been through this, so no one could really relate. So no one said anything to me and the subject was basically ignored.  My mother made arrangement to fly back to the States to be with me. Fear was my constant companion.  The doctors words would ring in my head.  We are not sure what we will find, you need to make a decision about having a mastectomy.  I hugged my baby and was terrified that I would not be around to see her grow up.  My family talked in hushed tones about cancer.  Hoping not to add to my fears, but my fears were full grown, and their looks only made me feel more alone. 

Crying at night into my pillow I faced the fact of my mortality.  One side of me said, you need to get it together you can't be afraid to die.  You are the pastor's wife - and can't admit THIS to anyone!  The other side said, I am soooo afraid and scared to die.  What if I am not saved.  What if I don't measure up?  What's death feel like?  I don't want to die young.  I want to be a Mom! Then the guilt - you are a believer what's wrong with you. Questions rolled over and over in my heart creating such anxiety and panic in my mind. 

Mom arrived and refused to let me lift anything thinking that it might help not spread 'anything' in my body.  Ha!  We all were dealing with our fears in different ways.  My husband put on a brave face and took me to all appointments and consultations, showing his support.  But what was there to say.  We just had to face this turn of events and go through it.  He prayed for my healing and had many others do so as well. 

The day of surgery arrived and I remember the doctor's words to me.  We will need to make some markings on  your body for the mastectomy.  And out came the black markers and the lines were drawn, while I am trying to stay calm inside.  I have to admit to you, my faith was zilch during this experience.  I dreaded this day.

Surgery happened.

Upon awaking in the recovery room, I tried to move my hands to feel around and there was a large lady nurse in white standing right next to me watching me.  Strangely she had a little white sign in her hands, and when she saw me stirring she pressed my hands back down and held up this sign.   It said,  'there was no cancer..... Thank God!'  I closed my eyes and went right back to sleep. 

And when I woke up the second time, a different nurse was there and she started talking to me, telling me the details.  I looked for the other nurse but never saw her again.  I started to feel relieved as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of me!  They had removed the lump and tested it again to find out that it was not cancerous.  I was incredulous about what suddenly had turned around and been reversed so quickly.   

As soon as I recovered we went home ever so grateful to God for my health. I was humbled and ashamed that I had not trusted God more.  And in His kindness He patiently heard all my cries and the many lies that had smashed into my heart, wrecking my peace.  He knew His plans for me so He was not worried.  And in His grace Jesus had healed me in the hour of my need. 

I wasted so much time in personal agony for naught! I promised myself not to self abuse ever again like that.  I felt so ashamed later privately washing those black marks off! And I heard this statement spoken quietly in my heart, 'the facts are not necessarily the truth'.   

What lesson did I learn in this chapter of life?  That my life is really not in my hands  that God is so much bigger than I - and He calmly takes care of my life safely in spite of my inner turmoil.  That my fears are just that, fantasies that are not reality.  That I needed to seriously devote myself to Him, to remove my mortality concerns about dying.  And most of all......... what I am so sure is the truth, can be changed instantly by God.  That breast cancer is not the boss -God is.   

And as the song says......... Oh for grace to trust Him more

It's time to start telling an amazing miracle story.  Now what I am about to tell you will be told in several posts, as it's different chapters of my life. I am so thankful for each one of these chapters in my life - they are part of my spiritual foundation.

When I was 23 years old, our baby girl Angela was one.  We were about to leave Zimbabwe after spending 2 years there as missionaries. I discovered a lump in my breast and knew something was wrong.  So we went to the Doctor there in Harare Zimbabwe, it was about 1 month before we were returning home.  He examined me and told me very disturbing news.  "There is not enough time to take care of your health before you leave.  So when you get back home, go see a Doctor and get this looked at.  And I must tell you that by the time you are 40 years old you will need to have both breasts removed to preserve your life."

I was shocked and suddenly struck with serious thoughts that I had not had before.  Now I was living a great life, enjoying being a mommy and a wife and loving my African life. We had so many friends there that were all our age and we all were having children together.  We were a whole church full of young marrieds that all loved each other.  But our families were urging us to return, and so reluctantly we had many goodbye parties and with promises to see everyone again we left, not knowing what the next chapter of life would bring to us. 

I won't bore you with lots of details, but in a short time upon returning home, we had been ask to pastor a church in East Texas.  Kirbyville to be exact.  So we moved there and began to make relationships and win people to the Lord.  Every now and then I would feel the lump and know that I would have to go see a Doctor soon.  So it was like a dark cloud always hanging over my head. 

When life calmed down, we did find a doctor - who ran tests and basically gave me my options.  Surgery right away. That's what my option was. Now I have to be a big girl and get ready for this.  I was a young pastor's wife who, by watching others thought that pastor's wives did not have problems, and we had to be strong for the women in our churches. Thank God I no longer have to play that sad game!

But at the time, I did.  So putting on a plastic smile and faking it like it did not bother me,  but it did.  And there were no friends around me who had been through this, so no one could really relate. So no one said anything to me and the subject was basically ignored.  My mother made arrangement to fly back to the States to be with me. Fear was my constant companion.  The doctors words would ring in my head.  We are not sure what we will find, you need to make a decision about having a mastectomy.  I hugged my baby and was terrified that I would not be around to see her grow up.  My family talked in hushed tones about cancer.  Hoping not to add to my fears, but my fears were full grown, and their looks only made me feel more alone. 

Crying at night into my pillow I faced the fact of my mortality.  One side of me said, you need to get it together you can't be afraid to die.  You are the pastor's wife - and can't admit THIS to anyone!  The other side said, I am soooo afraid and scared to die.  What if I am not saved.  What if I don't measure up?  What's death feel like?  I don't want to die young.  I want to be a Mom! Then the guilt - you are a believer what's wrong with you. Questions rolled over and over in my heart creating such anxiety and panic in my mind. 

Mom arrived and refused to let me lift anything thinking that it might help not spread 'anything' in my body.  Ha!  We all were dealing with our fears in different ways.  My husband put on a brave face and took me to all appointments and consultations, showing his support.  But what was there to say.  We just had to face this turn of events and go through it.  He prayed for my healing and had many others do so as well. 

The day of surgery arrived and I remember the doctor's words to me.  We will need to make some markings on  your body for the mastectomy.  And out came the black markers and the lines were drawn, while I am trying to stay calm inside.  I have to admit to you, my faith was zilch during this experience.  I dreaded this day.

Surgery happened.

Upon awaking in the recovery room, I tried to move my hands to feel around and there was a large lady nurse in white standing right next to me watching me.  Strangely she had a little white sign in her hands, and when she saw me stirring she pressed my hands back down and held up this sign.   It said,  'there was no cancer..... Thank God!'  I closed my eyes and went right back to sleep. 

And when I woke up the second time, a different nurse was there and she started talking to me, telling me the details.  I looked for the other nurse but never saw her again.  I started to feel relieved as if an enormous weight had been lifted off of me!  They had removed the lump and tested it again to find out that it was not cancerous.  I was incredulous about what suddenly had turned around and been reversed so quickly.   

As soon as I recovered we went home ever so grateful to God for my health. I was humbled and ashamed that I had not trusted God more.  And in His kindness He patiently heard all my cries and the many lies that had smashed into my heart, wrecking my peace.  He knew His plans for me so He was not worried.  And in His grace Jesus had healed me in the hour of my need. 

I wasted so much time in personal agony for naught! I promised myself not to self abuse ever again like that.  I felt so ashamed later privately washing those black marks off! And I heard this statement spoken quietly in my heart, 'the facts are not necessarily the truth'.   

What lesson did I learn in this chapter of life?  That my life is really not in my hands  that God is so much bigger than I - and He calmly takes care of my life safely in spite of my inner turmoil.  That my fears are just that, fantasies that are not reality.  That I needed to seriously devote myself to Him, to remove my mortality concerns about dying.  And most of all......... what I am so sure is the truth, can be changed instantly by God.  That breast cancer is not the boss -God is.   

And as the song says......... Oh for grace to trust Him more

Breast Cancer Miracle #2

Breast Cancer - Part 2

My second brush with cancer taught me warfare.  I had been busy as a Pastor's wife and being a mother.  We home schooled our daughter, so my days were filled with schoolwork, a church building project and lots of church functions in Illinois.

You can read about my first cancer episode under the heading,   'My Miracle Life' - Breast Cancer Part 1.

I discovered a lump in the same place again, and my first thought was, 'here we go again'!  This time I managed to hold it together a little better, having lost my fear of dying the first time.  The doctors give us their sobering diagnosis - surgery again. People in our church did not know what to say - so basically no one said anything.  My family was in Africa, and my sweet mother in law came and stood with us through it. My husband was steady and strong for me during this whole experience.   

I remember spending quiet time alone and coming to a decision within myself. I was not afraid to die - just wanted to have it mean something if I did. And my decision was this:  OK if it's cancer - and I die - I am going straight to the Throne of God and tell him what satan did to me.  I am going to tell God about all the things he's thrown at us. I determined to be the biggest tattletale Heaven has ever seen!  I will tell the Father how he hounded us and harassed us and molested us at every turn.  Nothing had been easy because the despicable rat has tried to ruin us at everything in life.  I made my mind up that I would make him regret he had ever caused my death.  I would be a thousand times more dangerous and troublesome to him in Heaven than I ever could be alive!  I planned what my opening lines would be - and I would become a weapon against him in the Heavenlies!  His actions against me, would come back on him in innumerable horrors! I remember saying, 'go ahead devil - and I will make you deeply regret you ever touched my life'!!!!!!  I can still feel my determination and my fierce reaction to the whole experience. I threatened him and promised him what I would do when I got to Heaven.

I said within my self, 'Bring it on........'   

With my mind made up, we went to the Hospital and while our church held their breath and prayed - I fell asleep under the surgeon's knife.  Somehow during surgery a decision was made to go ahead and do a lumpectomy , and then it was discovered that the tumor was not cancerous!  So I awoke to tubes and a relieved husband, and a slice of my body gone.

Slowly I recovered from the surgery and got back on my feet, with a dent shaped scar - that after time, completely filled back in.  Yes the scar is still there - but the dent is gone.   

My lesson?  Do we as believers have the right to back down the enemy?

I can tell you that ......... I am still here.

I can give you scriptures. There are hundreds of them. One that was a source of strength to me was,

Psalms 27:2-5

When the wicked even mine enemies and my foes came upon me to eat up my flesh they stumbled and fell.

Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear,though war should rise against me in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the Lord that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple. 

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in his pavilion. in the secret of his Tabernacle shall He hide me He shall set me up upon a Rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me therefore will I offer in His Tabernacle sacrifices of joy I will sing, yes I will sing praises unto the Lord.

I as a Pastor's wife, began to sing and lead worship after this experience

My second brush with cancer taught me warfare.  I had been busy as a Pastor's wife and being a mother.  We home schooled our daughter, so my days were filled with schoolwork, a church building project and lots of church functions in Illinois.

You can read about my first cancer episode under the heading,   'My Miracle Life' - Breast Cancer Part 1.

I discovered a lump in the same place again, and my first thought was, 'here we go again'!  This time I managed to hold it together a little better, having lost my fear of dying the first time.  The doctors give us their sobering diagnosis - surgery again. People in our church did not know what to say - so basically no one said anything.  My family was in Africa, and my sweet mother in law came and stood with us through it. My husband was steady and strong for me during this whole experience.   

I remember spending quiet time alone and coming to a decision within myself. I was not afraid to die - just wanted to have it mean something if I did. And my decision was this:  OK if it's cancer - and I die - I am going straight to the Throne of God and tell him what satan did to me.  I am going to tell God about all the things he's thrown at us. I determined to be the biggest tattletale Heaven has ever seen!  I will tell the Father how he hounded us and harassed us and molested us at every turn.  Nothing had been easy because the despicable rat has tried to ruin us at everything in life.  I made my mind up that I would make him regret he had ever caused my death.  I would be a thousand times more dangerous and troublesome to him in Heaven than I ever could be alive!  I planned what my opening lines would be - and I would become a weapon against him in the Heavenlies!  His actions against me, would come back on him in innumerable horrors! I remember saying, 'go ahead devil - and I will make you deeply regret you ever touched my life'!!!!!!  I can still feel my determination and my fierce reaction to the whole experience. I threatened him and promised him what I would do when I got to Heaven.

I said within my self, 'Bring it on........'   

With my mind made up, we went to the Hospital and while our church held their breath and prayed - I fell asleep under the surgeon's knife.  Somehow during surgery a decision was made to go ahead and do a lumpectomy , and then it was discovered that the tumor was not cancerous!  So I awoke to tubes and a relieved husband, and a slice of my body gone.

Slowly I recovered from the surgery and got back on my feet, with a dent shaped scar - that after time, completely filled back in.  Yes the scar is still there - but the dent is gone.   

My lesson?  Do we as believers have the right to back down the enemy?

I can tell you that ......... I am still here.

I can give you scriptures. There are hundreds of them. One that was a source of strength to me was,

Psalms 27:2-5

When the wicked even mine enemies and my foes came upon me to eat up my flesh they stumbled and fell.

Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear,though war should rise against me in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the Lord that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple. 

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in his pavilion. in the secret of his Tabernacle shall He hide me He shall set me up upon a Rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me therefore will I offer in His Tabernacle sacrifices of joy I will sing, yes I will sing praises unto the Lord.

I as a Pastor's wife, began to sing and lead worship after this experience

My second brush with cancer taught me warfare.  I had been busy as a Pastor's wife and being a mother.  We home schooled our daughter, so my days were filled with schoolwork, a church building project and lots of church functions in Illinois.

You can read about my first cancer episode under the heading,   'My Miracle Life' - Breast Cancer Part 1.

I discovered a lump in the same place again, and my first thought was, 'here we go again'!  This time I managed to hold it together a little better, having lost my fear of dying the first time.  The doctors give us their sobering diagnosis - surgery again. People in our church did not know what to say - so basically no one said anything.  My family was in Africa, and my sweet mother in law came and stood with us through it. My husband was steady and strong for me during this whole experience.   

I remember spending quiet time alone and coming to a decision within myself. I was not afraid to die - just wanted to have it mean something if I did. And my decision was this:  OK if it's cancer - and I die - I am going straight to the Throne of God and tell him what satan did to me.  I am going to tell God about all the things he's thrown at us. I determined to be the biggest tattletale Heaven has ever seen!  I will tell the Father how he hounded us and harassed us and molested us at every turn.  Nothing had been easy because the despicable rat has tried to ruin us at everything in life.  I made my mind up that I would make him regret he had ever caused my death.  I would be a thousand times more dangerous and troublesome to him in Heaven than I ever could be alive!  I planned what my opening lines would be - and I would become a weapon against him in the Heavenlies!  His actions against me, would come back on him in innumerable horrors! I remember saying, 'go ahead devil - and I will make you deeply regret you ever touched my life'!!!!!!  I can still feel my determination and my fierce reaction to the whole experience. I threatened him and promised him what I would do when I got to Heaven.

I said within my self, 'Bring it on........'   

With my mind made up, we went to the Hospital and while our church held their breath and prayed - I fell asleep under the surgeon's knife.  Somehow during surgery a decision was made to go ahead and do a lumpectomy , and then it was discovered that the tumor was not cancerous!  So I awoke to tubes and a relieved husband, and a slice of my body gone.

Slowly I recovered from the surgery and got back on my feet, with a dent shaped scar - that after time, completely filled back in.  Yes the scar is still there - but the dent is gone.   

My lesson?  Do we as believers have the right to back down the enemy?

I can tell you that ......... I am still here.

I can give you scriptures. There are hundreds of them. One that was a source of strength to me was,

Psalms 27:2-5

When the wicked even mine enemies and my foes came upon me to eat up my flesh they stumbled and fell.

Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear,though war should rise against me in this will I be confident.

One thing have I desired of the Lord that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the House of the Lord all the days of my life to behold the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple. 

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in his pavilion. in the secret of his Tabernacle shall He hide me He shall set me up upon a Rock.

And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me therefore will I offer in His Tabernacle sacrifices of joy I will sing, yes I will sing praises unto the Lord.

I as a Pastor's wife, began to sing and lead worship after this experience

Ovarian Cancer

Ovarian Cancer

This is another chapter in my life that I must tell you about. This incredible experience shaped me irrevocably, and has become a part of who I am in the joy and peace of serving God.

When I was around 30 years old, I started experiencing pain in my abdomen, low on the left side, a nagging pain that would last for several hours at a time.  I ignored it and kept working.  Then it got to be often. My excuses for not dealing with it were - I am tired - we were in a building program - I'm teaching our daughter in home school - I manage our Love Center - I am the children's pastor - I feed the construction team everyday - so I ignored it.  Then one day it exploded in such pain that I doubled over in pain unable to stand.  This happened right after church one day and I was in my husband's office, which is where he found me laying on his couch. 'That's it!  We are going to deal with this and find out what is going on with you', he told me. 

So we started the tests routine and it was discovered that I had a mass on my left ovary, with another one on the other side.  With my past records in hand, my doctor told us the chances of it being ovarian cancer was a very real possibility. And that we needed to deal with this quickly.  I remember this being in October and the weather was beginning to get cold. With his words ringing in my ears, we went home with bottles of pain killers, to wait on his arrangements with the hospital for surgery. 

I remember thinking - 'here we go again.  I'm exhausted'. Now any pastor's wife knows that a building project is terribly trying and the personal cost to the pastor and his family is overwhelming at times.  I was at that overwhelmed point, and was ready to give up.  I thought,  'why not just give in and not fight. It's too much work to try to stand in faith and push against  it.  I don't want to keep everyone propped up, and try to keep my head up.  I am not afraid of this, nor of dying.  In fact going home to be with Jesus would be wonderful. It would be such a relief to be free of life and it's responsibilities. Maybe it's time to check out and let go'.

So quietly without telling any one about my feelings - I just lived in silence and waited for the coming day.  I determined in my heart, if death comes in surgery I am going with it.  I will just release and go to Jesus. I am tired of pushing for a church to be birthed, trying to get people to live for God, weary of the feeble efforts and poor excuses of people to help us build. Tired of a past organizational structure that had constantly pressured us to be something and someone we were not. And then persecuted us when we left them. The years of toil and work, had made us pay a price, that I no longer could bear.  These thoughts  led me to keep my mouth shut and look ahead past the doorway of life, into eternity and I knew where I wanted to go. 

The call came ...... within a week.  I remember being focused only internally.  The night before surgery, I had an extraordinary supernatural experience.

In the middle of that night, I was awakened by the voices of people.  Our bedroom was filled with elder people in white robes and they were talking about me!  'She was brought through many experiences to prepare her for what's ahead.  She went through this ...... and that...... ' and they were discussing my life!  I looked at them speechless and they looked at me!  Then suddenly another one of them - a woman (whom I recognized - for when I was a child in Africa, I had seen her picture in a magazine and touched her picture and ask God for her anointing! I had totally forgotten this, had never seen her in person, and had never thought of it again! But when I saw her I was instantly reminded of my little girl prayer!)

That very woman stood at the end of my bed, pointed a long slim finger at me, and said these EXACT WORDS.  "You mean you are going to quit before the greatest battle of the Church"?!?! Her accusation and resounding words hit me like a ton of bricks! Then all of the people vanished instantly!

I was astonished at first, and found myself setting up in bed, in the darkened bedroom I begin to urgently repent to God of my death wish! I realized that if I chose to go, I would not complete something God had given me to do, and had anointed me to do!   He had answered my childhood prayer!!!! After I calmed down, I woke up my husband and repented to him and told him I will not die, I have a destiny to fulfill. I felt like fire had entered my body and I was charged with energy.

The next day we went to the hospital, the doctors were very concerned - but I was convinced that all would be okay. I remember telling them, it's okay - let's go to surgery. (No one can tell you any other opinion, when you have had a experience from God) They did the surgery, and yes there were masses on both of my ovaries.  They removed them (ovariotomies) and it took 4 hours to clean out all of the tentacles of the growing masses. They sent them to the lab for the report before closing me up.  And upon the labs report, my doctors discovered there was no trace of cancer. They were surprised and shocked but I was not. My confidence in God was rock solid. I knew He had a plan for me.

I came out of that hospital, weak in my body - it took me a year to recover my strength.  But in my heart I was very strong.  I had crossed a barrier and now had a secret God had revealed to me in the midst of my pain. 

Not only did God turn my physical and emotional weakness into strength, but He also removed the $40,000.00 hospital bill!  One of the Nuns of the Catholic hospital where I was at, walked into my room and told us that they wanted to pay for our hospital costs, seeing that we were pastors and doing God's work.  God bless the Nuns!

Later when I was released, another charity foundation, paid for my doctor's bills.  Another $6,500. 00!  I would not trade this experience for anything in this world.  God can do abundantly more than you can think or ask. 

This is my record and testimony about my third brush with cancer. God is bigger than cancer. And my family once again had the bonding experience of knowing God in the midst of a huge challenge.          

This is another chapter in my life that I must tell you about. This incredible experience shaped me irrevocably, and has become a part of who I am in the joy and peace of serving God.

When I was around 30 years old, I started experiencing pain in my abdomen, low on the left side, a nagging pain that would last for several hours at a time.  I ignored it and kept working.  Then it got to be often. My excuses for not dealing with it were - I am tired - we were in a building program - I'm teaching our daughter in home school - I manage our Love Center - I am the children's pastor - I feed the construction team everyday - so I ignored it.  Then one day it exploded in such pain that I doubled over in pain unable to stand.  This happened right after church one day and I was in my husband's office, which is where he found me laying on his couch. 'That's it!  We are going to deal with this and find out what is going on with you', he told me. 

So we started the tests routine and it was discovered that I had a mass on my left ovary, with another one on the other side.  With my past records in hand, my doctor told us the chances of it being ovarian cancer was a very real possibility. And that we needed to deal with this quickly.  I remember this being in October and the weather was beginning to get cold. With his words ringing in my ears, we went home with bottles of pain killers, to wait on his arrangements with the hospital for surgery. 

I remember thinking - 'here we go again.  I'm exhausted'. Now any pastor's wife knows that a building project is terribly trying and the personal cost to the pastor and his family is overwhelming at times.  I was at that overwhelmed point, and was ready to give up.  I thought,  'why not just give in and not fight. It's too much work to try to stand in faith and push against  it.  I don't want to keep everyone propped up, and try to keep my head up.  I am not afraid of this, nor of dying.  In fact going home to be with Jesus would be wonderful. It would be such a relief to be free of life and it's responsibilities. Maybe it's time to check out and let go'.

So quietly without telling any one about my feelings - I just lived in silence and waited for the coming day.  I determined in my heart, if death comes in surgery I am going with it.  I will just release and go to Jesus. I am tired of pushing for a church to be birthed, trying to get people to live for God, weary of the feeble efforts and poor excuses of people to help us build. Tired of a past organizational structure that had constantly pressured us to be something and someone we were not. And then persecuted us when we left them. The years of toil and work, had made us pay a price, that I no longer could bear.  These thoughts  led me to keep my mouth shut and look ahead past the doorway of life, into eternity and I knew where I wanted to go. 

The call came ...... within a week.  I remember being focused only internally.  The night before surgery, I had an extraordinary supernatural experience.

In the middle of that night, I was awakened by the voices of people.  Our bedroom was filled with elder people in white robes and they were talking about me!  'She was brought through many experiences to prepare her for what's ahead.  She went through this ...... and that...... ' and they were discussing my life!  I looked at them speechless and they looked at me!  Then suddenly another one of them - a woman (whom I recognized - for when I was a child in Africa, I had seen her picture in a magazine and touched her picture and ask God for her anointing! I had totally forgotten this, had never seen her in person, and had never thought of it again! But when I saw her I was instantly reminded of my little girl prayer!)

That very woman stood at the end of my bed, pointed a long slim finger at me, and said these EXACT WORDS.  "You mean you are going to quit before the greatest battle of the Church"?!?! Her accusation and resounding words hit me like a ton of bricks! Then all of the people vanished instantly!

I was astonished at first, and found myself setting up in bed, in the darkened bedroom I begin to urgently repent to God of my death wish! I realized that if I chose to go, I would not complete something God had given me to do, and had anointed me to do!   He had answered my childhood prayer!!!! After I calmed down, I woke up my husband and repented to him and told him I will not die, I have a destiny to fulfill. I felt like fire had entered my body and I was charged with energy.

The next day we went to the hospital, the doctors were very concerned - but I was convinced that all would be okay. I remember telling them, it's okay - let's go to surgery. (No one can tell you any other opinion, when you have had a experience from God) They did the surgery, and yes there were masses on both of my ovaries.  They removed them (ovariotomies) and it took 4 hours to clean out all of the tentacles of the growing masses. They sent them to the lab for the report before closing me up.  And upon the labs report, my doctors discovered there was no trace of cancer. They were surprised and shocked but I was not. My confidence in God was rock solid. I knew He had a plan for me.

I came out of that hospital, weak in my body - it took me a year to recover my strength.  But in my heart I was very strong.  I had crossed a barrier and now had a secret God had revealed to me in the midst of my pain. 

Not only did God turn my physical and emotional weakness into strength, but He also removed the $40,000.00 hospital bill!  One of the Nuns of the Catholic hospital where I was at, walked into my room and told us that they wanted to pay for our hospital costs, seeing that we were pastors and doing God's work.  God bless the Nuns!

Later when I was released, another charity foundation, paid for my doctor's bills.  Another $6,500. 00!  I would not trade this experience for anything in this world.  God can do abundantly more than you can think or ask. 

This is my record and testimony about my third brush with cancer. God is bigger than cancer. And my family once again had the bonding experience of knowing God in the midst of a huge challenge.          

This is another chapter in my life that I must tell you about. This incredible experience shaped me irrevocably, and has become a part of who I am in the joy and peace of serving God.

When I was around 30 years old, I started experiencing pain in my abdomen, low on the left side, a nagging pain that would last for several hours at a time.  I ignored it and kept working.  Then it got to be often. My excuses for not dealing with it were - I am tired - we were in a building program - I'm teaching our daughter in home school - I manage our Love Center - I am the children's pastor - I feed the construction team everyday - so I ignored it.  Then one day it exploded in such pain that I doubled over in pain unable to stand.  This happened right after church one day and I was in my husband's office, which is where he found me laying on his couch. 'That's it!  We are going to deal with this and find out what is going on with you', he told me. 

So we started the tests routine and it was discovered that I had a mass on my left ovary, with another one on the other side.  With my past records in hand, my doctor told us the chances of it being ovarian cancer was a very real possibility. And that we needed to deal with this quickly.  I remember this being in October and the weather was beginning to get cold. With his words ringing in my ears, we went home with bottles of pain killers, to wait on his arrangements with the hospital for surgery. 

I remember thinking - 'here we go again.  I'm exhausted'. Now any pastor's wife knows that a building project is terribly trying and the personal cost to the pastor and his family is overwhelming at times.  I was at that overwhelmed point, and was ready to give up.  I thought,  'why not just give in and not fight. It's too much work to try to stand in faith and push against  it.  I don't want to keep everyone propped up, and try to keep my head up.  I am not afraid of this, nor of dying.  In fact going home to be with Jesus would be wonderful. It would be such a relief to be free of life and it's responsibilities. Maybe it's time to check out and let go'.

So quietly without telling any one about my feelings - I just lived in silence and waited for the coming day.  I determined in my heart, if death comes in surgery I am going with it.  I will just release and go to Jesus. I am tired of pushing for a church to be birthed, trying to get people to live for God, weary of the feeble efforts and poor excuses of people to help us build. Tired of a past organizational structure that had constantly pressured us to be something and someone we were not. And then persecuted us when we left them. The years of toil and work, had made us pay a price, that I no longer could bear.  These thoughts  led me to keep my mouth shut and look ahead past the doorway of life, into eternity and I knew where I wanted to go. 

The call came ...... within a week.  I remember being focused only internally.  The night before surgery, I had an extraordinary supernatural experience.

In the middle of that night, I was awakened by the voices of people.  Our bedroom was filled with elder people in white robes and they were talking about me!  'She was brought through many experiences to prepare her for what's ahead.  She went through this ...... and that...... ' and they were discussing my life!  I looked at them speechless and they looked at me!  Then suddenly another one of them - a woman (whom I recognized - for when I was a child in Africa, I had seen her picture in a magazine and touched her picture and ask God for her anointing! I had totally forgotten this, had never seen her in person, and had never thought of it again! But when I saw her I was instantly reminded of my little girl prayer!)

That very woman stood at the end of my bed, pointed a long slim finger at me, and said these EXACT WORDS.  "You mean you are going to quit before the greatest battle of the Church"?!?! Her accusation and resounding words hit me like a ton of bricks! Then all of the people vanished instantly!

I was astonished at first, and found myself setting up in bed, in the darkened bedroom I begin to urgently repent to God of my death wish! I realized that if I chose to go, I would not complete something God had given me to do, and had anointed me to do!   He had answered my childhood prayer!!!! After I calmed down, I woke up my husband and repented to him and told him I will not die, I have a destiny to fulfill. I felt like fire had entered my body and I was charged with energy.

The next day we went to the hospital, the doctors were very concerned - but I was convinced that all would be okay. I remember telling them, it's okay - let's go to surgery. (No one can tell you any other opinion, when you have had a experience from God) They did the surgery, and yes there were masses on both of my ovaries.  They removed them (ovariotomies) and it took 4 hours to clean out all of the tentacles of the growing masses. They sent them to the lab for the report before closing me up.  And upon the labs report, my doctors discovered there was no trace of cancer. They were surprised and shocked but I was not. My confidence in God was rock solid. I knew He had a plan for me.

I came out of that hospital, weak in my body - it took me a year to recover my strength.  But in my heart I was very strong.  I had crossed a barrier and now had a secret God had revealed to me in the midst of my pain. 

Not only did God turn my physical and emotional weakness into strength, but He also removed the $40,000.00 hospital bill!  One of the Nuns of the Catholic hospital where I was at, walked into my room and told us that they wanted to pay for our hospital costs, seeing that we were pastors and doing God's work.  God bless the Nuns!

Later when I was released, another charity foundation, paid for my doctor's bills.  Another $6,500. 00!  I would not trade this experience for anything in this world.  God can do abundantly more than you can think or ask. 

This is my record and testimony about my third brush with cancer. God is bigger than cancer. And my family once again had the bonding experience of knowing God in the midst of a huge challenge.