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Daring Dreams and Damages

Ever felt like you could win the world, because you were so inspired with a dream?  Excitement and joy practically jumped out of your body and soul.  You could not wait to get started on your project  and life felt so good!  Then...... someone comes along and rains on your parade.  Their harsh words and negative attitude smashes  all of your positive energy and momentum.  Critical words and wounding knives cut your heart and drains the spirit right out of you. 

Hmmmmm.... what woman has not been here. We all have at times.  What do I do? 

Go to my Heavenly Father - God - and give Him all my hurts and pains with people. He understands.... and listens closely..... (never betrays my most  private conversations) and then He puts things into motion in my life to fix it, or remove it, or better yet causes a complete change in the circumstances ...all for my good.  

What do I do after praying ?  I wait on God.  He knows how and when and where to cause my damages to become my deliverance! Dreams that God gives will always face opposition, but thru His strength and perseverance even the most daring dream will become reality.

Take heart my friend..... keep going...... to God. He will always surprise you with a better solution than you thought possible.  

Gayla Holley  

10 Reasons Why I Smoke


  1. It's such a clean refined habit.

  2. It makes my breath so pleasing to everyone.

  3. It sets such a good example for children to follow.

  4. It proves I have self control.

  5. It makes my fingers and teeth so pretty and yellow.

  6. It make me look so feminine, I love the lines around my lips!

  7. I love to spit.

  8. It starts fires, kills lives and destroys millions of dollars worth of forests and property. 

  9. I want to see how much poison my body can take before I die.

  10. It's my way of obeying God.  Who says, "keep yourself pure".    

                                                                                                                          

'An ungodly man diggeth  up evil and in his lips there is a burning fire'. ..... Proverbs 16:27

Through a Rapist Eyes

     


My male friends have female friends and this Information is too important to miss someone.  Please pass it along and share it with your children.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed . They are also likely 
to go after a woman with long hair . Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. The number two: office parking lots/garages.  Number three: public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance in their hands.

Keys are NOT a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it?, or make general small talk: 'I can't believe it is so cold out here,' 'We're in for a bad winter.' Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it - it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

 

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide in

New Orleans

: If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives. New Cars have a latch in the trunk you can pull to open. Hold onto the lid so the trunk will open only a few inches. Follow the instructions above.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.

a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:

A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. 

 

B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.  IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

 

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'  The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.

Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby --- This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on

America

's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in

Louisiana

.

 

Remember: if you dial 911 when someone is breaking in, be sure to throw the phone under something big so it cannot be grabbed out of your hand. The police will listen, trace it and show up.

 

God's Promises are True

 

By:  Walterene Jones

 

Seven months have passed since I lost my husband and best friend.  As I look back, God has been so awesome to me.  I truly am blessed beyond human comprehension. The people that God put in my life, my Pastors, my church family, friends and my neighbors are so amazing.  No one can ever tell me that there are no good people left in the world anymore because of the outpouring of love that has been shown to me.

 

During the past seven months, God has held true to his Word that he would provide and take care of me and supply my needs.  I didn’t think I could make it, but I’ve made it through Birthdays, Anniversary, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, car trouble, home repairs and a major Hurricane named Ike.  During the storm as I lay in bed trying to sleep but found myself listening to the winds roar outside I prayed “Lord please protect my home and belongings, I just don’t think I could go through another loss right now.”  Then the Lord showed me an enormous Angel with its wings all spread out and laying across the roof of my home.  When I was finally able to go back home to look around, I saw that a piece of siding at the top under the awning had come off leaving the attic open.  Upon walking through my house, I found the wood that covers the portal from the inside of the house into the attic had been sucked out of the hole.  I knew the winds had gotten up in my attic, but not even one shingle was missing.  God had taken care of my home and belongings. 

 

This week I received word that a long time friend passed away.  The last time I saw her was at my husband’s Homegoing Celebration.  She was so frail and weak and you could see that Cancer was taking its toll on her, but she was standing strong and believing God.  The day of her viewing, I mentally tried to prepare myself to go, but as the time grew closer I found myself crumbling.  Once again, my grief overwhelmed me.  I kept telling myself, this wasn’t about me, but it was in memory and honor of my friend Doris, but the hurt was so real.  I found myself mentally reliving losing my husband again.  I was seeing my husband laying in ICU on Life Support and watching him code and the Dr. telling me he was gone.

 

I know that both my husband and my friend suffered with illness in their bodies for so long and now are laughing, singing, shouting and dancing on the streets of gold with no pain, no illness and no more suffering.

 

God I believe you to be true to your Word and you have been, but the hurt is still so real and the emptiness is so great.  This time of the year is especially hard because he loved Fall so much and always got excited when it arrived.  He couldn’t wait until the first real cool snap blew in and was ready to light a fire in the chiminea outside and sit on the swing with a cup of hot cocoa.  He loved to take drives to see leaves changing colors, the few we have here in

Texas

. 

 

I miss him so much and I am waiting Lord for that morning when I will wake up and know first hand that “…Joy cometh in the morning.”

 

 

Stepfamilies

By Susan Young

 

 

More than one half of all Americans have lived in a stepfamily situation. The truth is more Americans live in a stepfamily than in nuclear families.

 

That statistic is staggering and yet it has been something that we have not really addressed in the church. We simply don’t know what to do with a statistic that goes against our moral values. Only the facts are that they exist and that these families are the ones who sit in the pews of our churches.

 

I have to tell you that when I married my husband, who is the Senior Pastor of our church, and was a widower with two small children, I thought that the church would be ready for this. After all most of them were stepfamilies as well. They were not ready. Many left because we simply didn’t fit their definition of a family and they didn’t know what to do with us anymore.

 

God is good though and I believe that he has a purpose and plan for everything. He began to give us both a heart for stepfamilies. God began to show us that if we as a church are going to be relevant to this culture then He was going to show us a thing or two.

 

One of the first things the Lord showed us was that we weren’t special. We are a ministry family yes, but a stepfamily is a stepfamily and saved or not we were going to have to do the work that it was going to take to make the difference between fighting to stay a family or becoming a statistic.

 

So let’s first look at a few facts:

 

  • One in two marriages will fail leaving children primarily living with their biological mother and visiting their biological father.

 

  • Of these divorced or widowed families two-thirds of these adults will choose to remarry thus creating a stepfamily.

 

  • Of these stepfamilies 60% of them will end in divorce. The statistic is even higher if the children are adolescents.

 

  • On average it takes one year per age of a child to blend a family.

 

  • If a stepfamily can keep the marriage together past 5 years they have a good chance of making it.

 

  • The average stepfamily divorces after 4 years.

 

These statistics don’t change if a person is churched or not so it’s no wonder that we don’t know what to do. 

 

As we go through this process of divorce and remarriage, many pastors are ill prepared to handle the counseling that comes along with this dynamic. This is where I think my husband and I are able to help. We’ve gone through a lot but we’ve also taken some really great notes!

 

If I could give you advice on blending a family it would be the following things.

 

  • You are going to have to have a lot of patience. If you are the bio parent your family will be set up with certain routines that may or may not fit with the stepparent. You’ll have to work together to compromise.

 

  • You are going to have to trust each other. Often the bio parent thinks the step parent is just out to get the kids. While this may be true in some situations, most parents I’ve counseled are really trying to get along. Everything however that is seen with suspicious eyes is met with question. Ask yourself if you are being overly sensitive to situations.

 

  • Most bio parents carry enormous guilt over a failed marriage or the death of a spouse. This means they tend to parent out of guilt and so therefore there are a lot of behaviors that get let go in order to console a conscious. This will be frustrating to a stepparent and will probably cause arguments. Not only that but you aren’t doing your children any favors either. You’ll have to watch for this one. Check your motives.

 

  • Most children will try to play one parent up against the other. Remember their allegiance is to their bio parents no matter how much they like you. This is normal and natural. It will be up to you, the adults to watch for this and communicate.

 

  • A stepparent can’t be the parent no matter what. I don’t see myself as my stepkid’s mom, they had a mom and she died. I am at best going to try to be the best substitute there is. Now remember what the substitute teacher goes through in a classroom? That is what you can expect as well!

 

  • Above all love each other and take your burdens to Jesus. He will walk through it with you.

 

 I would love to tell you that life will be perfect and easy, it won’t be. I can promise that if you can gain each other’s trust and have the best interest of the family in mind, it will get better. Remember that God never hands you anything you can’t handle and He will guide you through even those tough times.