Role Models of America

ABORTION STATISTICS

WORLDWIDE

Number of abortions per year: Approximately 46 Million

Number of abortions per day: Approximately 126,000

Where abortions occur: 78% of all abortions are obtained in developing countries and 22% occur in developed countries.

Legality of abortion: About 26 million women obtain legal abortions each year, while an additional 20 million abortions are obtained in countries where it is restricted or prohibited by law.

Abortion averages: Worldwide, the lifetime average is about 1 abortion per woman.

© Copyright 1999-2000, The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (www.agi-usa.org)

UNITED STATES

Number of abortions per year: 1.37 Million (1996)

Number of abortions per day: Approximately 3,700

Who's having abortions (age)? 52% of women obtaining abortions in the U.S. are younger than 25: Women aged 20-24 obtain 32% of all abortions; Teenagers obtain 20% and girls under 15 account for 1.2%.

Who's having abortions (race)? While white women obtain 60% of all abortions, their abortion rate is well below that of minority women. Black women are more than 3 times as likely as white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are roughly 2 times as likely.

Who's having abortions (marital status)? 64.4% of all abortions are performed on never-married women; Married women account for 18.4% of all abortions and divorced women obtain 9.4%.

Who's having abortions (religion)? Women identifying themselves as Protestants obtain 37.4% of all abortions in the U.S.; Catholic women account for 31.3%, Jewish women account for 1.3%, and women with no religious affiliation obtain 23.7% of all abortions. 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical".

Who's having abortions (income)? Women with family incomes less than $15,000 obtain 28.7% of all abortions; Women with family incomes between $15,000 and $29,999 obtain 19.5%; Women with family incomes between $30,000 and $59,999 obtain 38.0%; Women with family incomes over $60,000 obtain 13.8%.

Why women have abortions 1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).

At what gestational ages are abortions performed: 52% of all abortions occur before the 9th week of pregnancy, 25% happen between the 9th & 10th week, 12% happen between the 11th and 12th week, 6% happen between the 13th & 15th week, 4% happen between the 16th & 20th week, and 1% of all abortions (16,450/yr.) happen after the 20th week of pregnancy.

Likelihood of abortion: An estimated 43% of all women will have at least 1 abortion by the time they are 45 years old. 47% of all abortions are performed on women who have had at least one previous abortion. Abortion coverage: 48% of all abortion facilities provide services after the 12th week of pregnancy. 9 in 10 managed care plans routinely cover abortion or provide limited coverage. About 14% of all abortions in the United States are paid for with public funds, virtually all of which are state funds. 16 states (CA, CT, HI, ED, IL, MA , MD, MD, MN, MT, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT, WA and WV) pay for abortions for some poor women.

© Copyright 1998, The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (www.agi-usa.org)

© Copyright 1997, The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (www.agi-usa.org)

© Copyright 1995, Family Planning Perspectives

© Copyright 1988, Family Planning Perspectives

The Stages of Grief

By:  Walterene Jones

I have been familiar for years with people talking about the different stages that a person goes through when they are grieving the loss of a loved one.   Just days after my husband passed away I received a letter from the Chaplain at the hospital where my husband passed.  He was wishing me his “condolences” for my loss.  I understand that the phrase is what is politically correct but in reality it is such an empty phrase and it has begun to aggravate me when people say it. It just sounds like an empty formality to me not a heart felt sorrow for my loss, just simply a phrase that people say because they are supposed to.  Along with his condolences he attached a page identifying the difference stages of grief for me.  Just this week my late husband’s uncle mailed me a copy of the little booklet Good Grief by:  Granger E. Westberg.

I’m sorry if I may be sounding a bit facetious and perhaps a bit repugnant.  Please do not get me wrong, I am very thankful for all the people God has put into my life and all my family, church family, friends and neighbors that have been there for me.  I couldn't’t make it without them.  But honestly, when I’m feeling the overwhelming loss, emptiness and loneliness from losing my husband of 30 years, I’m not going to get up each morning and flip open a book to see where I am and which stage of grief I am going through.  As a matter of fact, right now it feels like I’m going through stages 1 through 6 all at once.

But since I’m received all this information about the stages of grief, I thought I would share them with you so you can become familiar with them too.

STAGE ONE

    We are in a State of Stock

STAGE TWO

    We express Emotion

STAGE THREE

    We feel Depressed and Very Lonely

STAGE FOUR

    We May Experience Physical Symptoms of Distress

STAGE FIVE

    We May Become Panicky

STAGE SIX

    We Feel a Sense of Guilt about the Loss

STAGE SEVEN

    We are Filled with Anger and Resentment

STAGE EIGHT

    We Resist Returning

STAGE NINE

    Gradually Hope Come Through

STAGE TEN

    We Struggle to Affirm Reality

Mr. Westberg says on page 1…

“And so, what can be the result of reading this book, of good grieving?

1. We come out of our grief experience at a slightly higher level of maturity than before.
2. We come out of our grief as deeper persons, because we have been down in the depth of despair and know what it is like.
3. We come out of it stronger, for we have had to learn how to use our spiritual muscles to climb the rugged mountain trails.
4. We come out of it better able to help others.  We have walked through the valley of the shadow of grief.  We can understand.”

Personally, I am growing very weary of all these feelings, the uncontrollable crying, not being able to talk to people without breaking down into tears, the unknown for my brand new start over in life, the panic when things go wrong with the car and it costs me $350.00 to fix it, then I realize I don’t know when Steve changed out the air filters in the house last or changed the oil in the car last, and I try to remember how he fixed something the last time it gave us trouble.  Mr. Westberg, you have a great little book with a lot of information, but how do I control the crying or panic or fears I am facing?

So, I’m back to where I was in the beginning before I read the informative book.  I go to my secret place crawling up into my Abba Father’s arms and begging him to hold me close, hide me under the shelter of His wings and give me strength and peace, fill the emptiness and return the Joy into my life again.  Because His word tells me in Romans 15:13 “Now the God of HOPE fill you with all JOY and PEACE.”  And I find in Zechariah 4:6 “Not by might, nor by power, but by MY SPIRIT, saith the Lord of Hosts.”

Some of the old hymns of my childhood are coming back to my memory so strongly and are so precious to me because the writers of the lyrics knew what grief was and they give me hope and tell me the outcome.  A couple that are really ministering to me are:

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow  By:  Ira Stanphill

I don't know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day;
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.
I don't worry o'er the future, For I know what Jesus said;
And today I'll walk beside Him, For He knows what lies ahead

(chorus)
Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand

Ev'ry step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb; ev'ry burden's getting lighter,
Ev'ry cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow, Where the mountains touch the sky.

(chorus)

Many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand;
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand

It is Well With my Soul

This hymn was writ­ten af­ter two ma­jor trau­mas in Horatio Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the great Chi­ca­go Fire of Oc­to­ber 1871, which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a weal­thy bus­i­ness­man). Short­ly af­ter, while cross­ing the At­lan­tic, all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died in a col­li­sion with an­o­ther ship. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Sev­er­al weeks lat­er, as Spaf­ford’s own ship passed near the spot where his daugh­ters died, the Ho­ly Spir­it in­spired these words. They speak to the eter­nal hope that all be­liev­ers have, no mat­ter what pain and grief be­fall them on earth.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

You Have Hope

I received this word for the day from the Lord Jesus....

"You have hope.

I see someone whose hope never falters or fades.

Another I see is feeling like all hope is lost.

Let me tell you, you have done well to place your hope in Me. Hope placed in anything, thing or person, will always disappoint. There will be times when your faith is weak but your hope will be steady if I really live in you. Consider your condition before Me. Do you believe I am like a blinking light with a short circuit or do you see Me as an eternal Lighthouse? Make up your mind once and for all and never allow yourself to be moved from that position of hope ever again."

Proverbs 23:18 "Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off."

WARNING SIGNS-Eating Disorders

Warning signs of eating disorders

Many people worry about their weight, what they eat, and how they look. This is especially true for teenagers and young adults, who face extra pressure to fit in and look attractive at a time when their bodies are changing.

In the early stages, it can be challenging to tell the difference between an eating disorder and normal self-consciousness, weight concerns, or dieting. As eating disorders progress, the red flags become easier to spot.  But a person with an eating disorder will often go to great lengths to hide the problem, so it’s important to know the warning signs.

Restricting food or dieting

The most obvious warning signs of eating disorders involve restrictive eating behaviors. A friend or family member with an eating disorder may frequently skip meals or make excuses to avoid eating—he or she had a big meal earlier, isn’t hungry, or has an upset stomach. The person may also claim to be disgusted by foods that used to be favorites.

When your loved one does eat, he or she may take tiny servings, eat only specific low-calorie foods, or obsessively count calories, read food labels, and weigh portions. In an effort to curb appetite, your friend or family member may also take diet pills, prescription stimulants like Adderall or Ritalin, or even illegal drugs such as speed.

Bingeing

Some people with eating disorders eat normally around others, only to binge in secret—usually late at night or in a private spot where they won’t be discovered or disturbed. Warning signs of bingeing include piles of empty food packages and wrappers, cupboards and refrigerators that have been cleaned out, and hidden stashes of high-calorie foods such as desserts and junk food.

Purging

People with eating disorders often go to extreme measures to work off calories from a binge or even a normal snack or meal. They may purge by throwing up, fasting, exercising vigorously, or using diuretics and laxatives.

Common warning signs of purging include disappearing right after a meal or making frequent trips to the bathroom. If your friend or family member is vomiting, he or she may run the water to muffle the sound and use mouthwash, breath mints, or perfume to disguise the smell.

Distorted body image and altered appearance

A loved one’s appearance can also offer clues to an underlying problem. Significant weight loss, rapid weight gain, and constantly fluctuating weight are all possible warning signs. A person with an eating disorder may also wear baggy clothes or multiple layers in an attempt to hide dramatic weight loss.

Other warning signs include a distorted self-image or an obsessive preoccupation with weight. A relative complains about being fat despite a dramatically shrinking frame, for example, or a friend spends hours in front of the mirror, inspecting and criticizing her body.

UNDERSTANDING EATING DISORDERS

Understanding Eating Disorders

Eating disorders involve extreme disturbances in eating behaviors—following rigid diets, gorging on food in secret, throwing up after meals, obsessively counting calories.  But eating disorders are more complicated than just unhealthy dietary habits.  At their core, eating disorders involve distorted, self-critical attitudes about weight, food, and body image. It’s these negative thoughts and feelings that fuel the damaging behaviors.

People with eating disorders use food to deal with uncomfortable or painful emotions.  Restricting food is used to feel in control.  Overeating temporarily soothes sadness, anger, or loneliness.  Purging is used to combat feelings of helplessness and self-loathing.  Over time, people with eating disorders lose the ability to see themselves objectively and obsessions over food and weight come to dominate everything else in life.

Types of eating disorders

The most common eating disorders are anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder.

• Anorexia – People with anorexia starve themselves out of an intense fear of becoming fat. Despite being underweight or even emaciated, they never believe they’re thin enough. In addition to restricting calories, people with anorexia may also control their weight with exercise, diet pills, or purging.
• Bulimia – Bulimia involves a destructive cycle of bingeing and purging. Following an episode of out-of-control binge eating, people with bulimia take drastic steps to purge themselves of the extra calories. In order to avoid weight gain they vomit, exercise, fast, or take laxatives.
• Binge Eating Disorder – People with binge eating disorder compulsively overeat, rapidly consuming thousands of calories in a short period of time. Despite feelings of guilt and shame over these secret binges, they feel unable to control their behavior or stop eating even when uncomfortably full.

A Child's Voice

http://allpoetry.com/poem/1657355

Please don't kill me mommy

Just what have I done?

It wasn't my fault you got pregnant

It was your fault for having "fun."

Now I have to pay for what you did

Abortion clinic, but why

You may not know it now but when you go

I will know and cry.

I want to come into the world

And I want to be a part

Why can't I gain entrance

Into my mommy's heart.

You want to know something?

I'll soon have your blond hair

And also your sky blue eyes

Does that make you want to care?

Please don't do this mommy

Abortion is not the only choice

Why can you not love me?

And use your own debating voice.

I know that you care

I know you really want me

Why does dad get to choose

The way that it should be?

He says he's not ready

But what about you?

Yes I can hear you

I have feelings too!

I may only be a fetus

Only twelve weeks along

But every night I hear you

Sing your sorrowful song.

You cry all night

Wrapped in the sheet

Ashamed to tell him

The decision you meet.

Abortion kills and you know this

But today I'm three years old

I am glad you finally saw the truth

And I love that you became bold.

Dad is here and he is great

A natural daddy of course

I am so glad that after your chat

He felt such remorse.

Just think if you had aborted

I would not be here today

Who knows where you and dad would be

And know I thank God every day.

My LIfe is in You Lord

Life is so unpredictable for me these days.  My emotions are like a roller coaster out of control and it is so confusing.  I love to participate and go to our Women’s Ministry functions and Leaders Meetings.  They are always great, filled with fun, fellowship and so much love.  We have such a great team of leaders and we all gel together so beautifully and work in harmony like a well oiled machine.  However, when the function, meeting or event is over and I go home, it means going home to be alone.  I don’t even have to arrive at home before I am already feeling the emptiness and loneliness and it becomes at times overwhelming.  It feels like I’ve climbed a tall ladder standing on the very top (while the event is taking place), then all of a sudden someone pulls the ladder from underneath me and I fall flat.  One moment I’m laughing with friends and enjoying myself, the next I am at an all time low feeling only hurt, despair and loneliness.

Most of the time now, it makes me dread the upcoming functions even though I love them dearly and I don’t think I could make it without them, I know that they all will end and if it all works the way it has been, I will drive home sobbing and missing my husband and best friend so much it even makes my chest hurt just like I have undergone surgery, which in a way I have….half of me was taken away.

I find myself saying, “Lord you promised in I Cor. 10:13 that you would never put on me more than I can bear, but lord this hurts so bad I don’t think I can make it.  How can I go on?  Lord you also promised me in Hebrews 13:5b that “… Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”  You also promised me in John 14:18 that you would not leave me comfortless, but that you would come to me.

If you are with me Lord why am I feeling so alone and why does it hurt so much?  Lord I’m trying to be wise and be strong and make some changes and add things to my life as I begin my new life all over again at 53 years of age.  I am trying to do new things, reach out to others, stay active in the Women’s Ministry where you know my heart is.  Lord, all the books I’ve been reading on the stages of grief I understand and identify with 100%, but it feels like I’m going through all of the stages at once and it overwhelms me.    I don’t know what else I can do Lord but look to you, draw close to you, and you Lord fill the empty place that my husband occupied for so long.  My Life and hope is in you Lord.

How Am I Going to Accomplish Everything?

By:  Walterene Jones

I found myself feeling sorry for myself.  My “check engine” light had begun glowing brightly on the dashboard of my car, once again I had forgotten to take out the trash on pick up day, the smoke detector battery was dead, both of the tags on my car were expired and there were light bulbs going out all over the house.  Maybe it doesn’t sound like much to you, but these are the things that my husband would have taken care of.  As his illness progressed over the past 2 years, he was unable to do a lot and I took on more and more of the responsibilities and tasks, but these were all the little things he still did plus I knew I could call him and even if he just said, “It is going to be alright” it made it all ok.  Now he is not there to call and to hear his reassurance or instructions on what I need to do.

Once again the feeling of loneliness was overwhelming.  But I remembered that God has promised me in…

Phillipians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. “ I then also remembered a passage about David and his army that had been off fighting at war.  When they returned, the enemy had come into their camp and kidnapped all their wives and children and took them away which included his beloved Abigail.  They had no one to encourage them up and it says in…

1Sam 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.” So I collected myself and told myself “It is going to be alright, you are a strong woman and capable of taking care of all this”.   People that know me, know that I am a person that relies on Lists for everything.  So I made myself a list.  Instead of saying “Why Lord?” I went through my list and took care of everything.  I called a friend’s husband who had told me “if you ever need anything….” So he told me to bring the car over and while he was fixing the car, just to plan to have supper with them.  It was a great evening with friends.  I bought a whole new smoke detector because I realized the old one was at least 15 years old, I bought light bulbs and starting going through the house replacing them.  I went to buy the tags for the car and then went to have it inspected and asked the man at the service station to put the tags on my windshield for me.  I am still forgetting trash day, but I am working on it.  I’m finding that instead of having to rush home each evening to care for my husband as I had become so accustomed to doing, I can take care all these little chores.  After completing everything, I began to feel guilty for questioning the Lord why he had chosen not to heal Steve and he took him from me.  A very dear friend of mine sent me an email that she attached the words to a song that she had written.  When I read it, tears of joy began to flow and I could just see my husband in heaven and I really really knew in my heart how much he had suffered and gone through and now he was able to be Steve again, happy, full of joy, laughing and singing in heaven.  Everytime something has gone wrong or happened, God has placed someone in my path to take care of things and help me.  I’d like to share my friend’s Song Lyrics with you.  May you be blessed and uplifted as I was. "PEACE LIKE A RIVER FLOWED" AS I LAY DOWN LAST NIGHT, TO REST MY WEARY HEART, THE LORD GAVE ME THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DREAM. I SAW THE GATES OF HEAVEN OPEN WIDE, AS HEAVENLY ANGELS BEGAN TO SING, AND PEACE LIKE A RIVER FLOWED OVER ME. FOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHORUS, I HEARD A SWEET FAMILIAR VOICE, AND I LOOKED, BUT I KNEW, WHAT I WOULD SEE. YES, I SAW YOU STANDING THERE, WITHOUT A PAIN, WITHOUT A CARE, AND I KNEW THAT YOU WERE WHERE, YOU WANTED TO BE. NOT ON THIS EARTH HERE BELOW, WITH ALL ITS' SORROWS AND ALL ITS' WOES, AND I FELT PEACE, LIKE A RIVER, FLOW OVER ME. YES, I KNOW I'LL ALWAYS MISS YOU, BUT SOMEDAY, I'LL JOIN YOU THERE, AND WE'LL ALL BE TOGETHER ONCE AGAIN. SISTER AND BROTHER, FATHER AND MOTHER, DAUGHTER AND SON, WITH ONE ANOTHER, THAT'S WHY THIS PEACE, LIKE A RIVER, FLOWS OVER ME. AND I HEARD BELLS IN HEAVEN RINGING, AS EACH ANGEL,  AND THE CHOIR BEGAN TO SING. AND I HEARD YOU LAUGH FOR JOY, YOU WERE HAPPY I COULD SEE, AND PEACE LIKE A RIVER, A MIGHTY RUSHING RIVER, I FELT PEACE, LIKE A RIVER, FLOW OVER ME.......                             BY:  SHIRLEY BONOAN

Now Comes New Growth

By:  Walterene Jones

My 6 year old granddaughter had been after me to let her plant flowers in the big flower box in front of my house.  The flower box was filled with red Kalanchoes and to be honest I was growing somewhat tired of looking at them too.  For 2 evenings she and I worked at cleaning out the big flower box, making sure to pull the old plants roots and all up.  I explained to her that we had to start fresh and new.  She didn’t like removing the old plants and complained and said the dirt was stinky but I kept encouraging her to keep going because we couldn’t plant anything new until she had removed all the old plants.  We then started the process of pouring in New Top Soil which meant breaking up large clumps of moist fresh dark rich soil with our hands and making sure it was spread evenly and smoothly over the entire flower box.  Finally, last night it was time for the fun stuff, or at least she thought.  I went down the entire length of the box and dug partial holes spaced evenly apart and would place 1 small plant in the hole until all the holes had a plant sitting in them.  I then showed her how to dig the hole out to be just the right depth and gently hold the new little plant in place while covering it with soil and then gently pressing it into place. 

The time had come that she had been so eagerly awaiting, to plant all colors of pretty flowers.  So I went to sit on the porch swing and leave her to her fun.  Soon she announced that she was finished and I went to look at her work.  At the end of the box I saw where it was very obvious that she had begun to grow tired and didn’t do a very good job, so I sent her back to redo those.  She was realizing that it was hard work to plant and grow something new and beautiful.  I hooked up the water hose and brought it around there and of course she thought watering was the best and most fun of all.  So again I left her to do the job while I sat and watched.  Finally I figured everything had enough water and I turned it off and we went inside to clean up.

Right now, my life feels a lot like my planting experience with my granddaughter.  What I’ve known and had for so long has been totally removed from me. Inside I literally feel an empty hole where my husband used to occupy.  If I allow myself to wallow in self-pity all I see is emptiness, but I choose to look at my life like our new flower garden.  Yes, God chose to take my husband home to Glory with him and to end his suffering and there are some things I am going through that is taking lots of work to get them all finalized, but God has given me a new fresh life to begin completely anew.  Yes I still hurt, cry and miss my husband and my day-to-day life feels very scary at times, but God is also giving me his Peace that Passes all understanding and I know he has something very special in store for me.  Just like the flowers that we planted, I must now feed and water all the new opportunities in my life so that I can produce new growth in all its brilliant color and beauty.  I know I will face times of wanting to give up just like my granddaughter when she grew weary of having to go through the tedious process, but in the end, she and I can stand back and see what our work produced and enjoy every moment of it.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 “He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.”

Ps 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

Ps 18:32 It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. 

Ps 138:8 The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands. 

Isa 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

Heb. 13:21 (God will) Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 

Steps of Sexual Abuse Recovery

Written By:  Deborah R.

Once I was able to overcome my road block of blaming God, then I made great progress in my counseling.  You hear stories of how people go to counseling for years and years and are still dealing with the same issues.  It makes me wonder whose steps are they following; are they following a laid out plan?  Is God anywhere in their counseling?  I can tell you this; if God is in something it will go forward!

1. Step One:  I recognize that I am powerless to heal the damaged emotions resulting from my sexual abuse, and I look to God for the power to make me whole.
2. Step Two:  I acknowledge that God’s plan for my life includes victory over the experience of sexual abuse.
3. Step Three:  The person who abused me is responsible for the sexual acts committed against me.  I will not accept the guilt and shame resulting from those sexual acts.
4. Step Four:  I am looking to God and His Word to find my identity as a worthwhile and loved human being
5. Step Five:  I am honestly sharing my feelings with God and with at least one other person to help me identify those areas needing cleansing and healing.
6. Step Six:  I am accepting responsibility for my responses to being sexually abused.
7. Step Seven:  I am willing to accept God’s help in the decision and the process of forgiving myself and those who have offended me.
8. Step Eight:  I am willing to mature in my relationship with God and others.
9. Step Nine:  I am willing to be used by God as an instrument of healing and restoration in the lives of others.

It’s time to take some baby steps forward.  If you put God in front of you, not man, you will always have a clear direction of healing.